On day 5 of the fast I began to truly slow. I wrote a lengthy article, quoting authors and text and then began to sit and look at it. I was too exhausted for the next detail or organized thought. I wanted the quiet of my own head and body, no longer extending to a device. I deeply needed to go in to my inner resources and focus on very little.
Eventually I understood. I stopped doing chores. Doing anything seemed like a huge effort. I laughed out loud at the thought of bullet journaling with my daughter. I couldn't formulate an organized thought, let alone chart that. So, there was no music, no yoga (very little), no writing. Just me. I wasn't physically hungry, but my old fire began to come forward. I began to think about food. I began to think about cooking and recipes. I began to plan my reintegration back to cooking and food. And then I was too tired for even that. The final day I allowed myself to sit on the couch and watch television. I decided to complete 7 days, with some gentle nudging from my boyfriend. On the fifth day, I mentioned it and he just said I might as well. To get this far and turn around would seem silly. I wholeheartedly agreed and stayed with the fast for two more days and three more nights.
What I didn't realize was that it would be four more days after completing the fast before I stopped being hungry. Reintegration was more like fasting than fasting.